An Open Letter to the Fed

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Published : June 05th, 2002
1183 words - Reading time : 2 - 4 minutes
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Category : History of Gold





Dear Mr. Alan,


This letter is being written in concern to your fiduciary responsibilities with the gold reserves of the U.S.A. First of all, may I commend you on your knowledge and care of these precious entities, they are undoubtedly in the best hands you could possibly find!


As a concerned citizen I must alert you to some of the ongoing rumors and I'm absolutely positive that's all they are, in regards to the integrity of our nation's gold supply. You likely don't spend much time on various hard money Internet chat sites, much more important matters at hand, but I must tell you there are some real squirrels out there and they are making the most outlandish claims imaginable regarding the US Treasury and gold. Please pardon me for even mentioning this in your presence, but some of these clowns are wildly stating that the US gold supply is NOT fully intact. I got pretty upset at their frothing, to the point of not even being able to discern exactly how{e} much gold they even believe to be temporarily displaced. We're likely only talking about a couple hundred ounces here out of over 8,000 tonnes, but I do know how{e} seriously you take your responsibilities and thought you should be made aware. If you were loose and free with our country's {and the world's} finances one would surely hear derogatory nicknames for you such as 'Easy Al', 'Mr. Magoo', or other such tomfoolery. You aren't and we don' dismissed {another one}.


I have read many of your 1960's essays on the critical importance of gold as a monetary asset and I know fool well that the man that wrote those masterpieces would not be able to sleep if anything were amiss with our nation's booty. Clinton was also pretty good at minding our country's booty so unless Dubya has slipped up we should be pretty centered. Few know, understand, and care about gold issues like whoever wrote those 1960 pieces. I also well remember how{e} most of this gold was acquired during the booming 1930's when the US citizens were greatly in need of tax deductions and poured out their gold unto our nation's treasury for safe-keeping as well as deductibility. We have all heard of the physical properties of malleability and deductibility with both silver and gold, but I digress, sorry. Anyway, Mr. Roosevelt initiated this chain of responsibility that has now led into your more than capable hands. I think President Roosevelt, you, and President Nixon have done more to insure our nation's financial integrity than the rest of our great leaders combined! FDR had the insight to bring the nation's gold into central care, RMN was able to keep it away from foreign mongrels, and you, Sir Alan, have kept it at least 99.99999999% pure and secured for all my/our future progeny/taxpayers. I'm sure the historians will be able to place Mr. Clinton into this esteemed clique before the next texts come out, but we'll have to wait for that, won't we? Any truth to the rumor that the mill-house in Nixon had anything to do with his private hoard of precious? Sorry, it's those chat sites that seem to be influencing me, I'm trying to cut down. They obviously serve some purpose, however, or this letter from a very, very slightly, itsy-bitsy concerned citizen wouldn't be forthcoming.


I have digressed again, sorry. As I was saying, these outlandish claims are being made in regards to your beyond-reproach care of our nation's gold cache. Let's discount the rumors right off the top and diss the high end of their claims. If anyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, it is you and Larry, o wise ones. So, we're talking considerably less than 200 ounces of gold and probably more than 1 ounce of gold that might possibly have been temporarily misplaced. That is not really a lot of gold, but knowing your conscientious and independent care for this country, it is not to be lightly dismissed either. Have any of these concerns come up in your various Swizz board meetings? I bet some heads are going to roll now if there is an inkle of truth to what I am reporting to you! I promise to continue to monitor these terrorist financial sites and keep you fooly appraised of any more devious proclamations that are found. Are there yet financial rewards for turning in this sort of scum? Not that I would accept it, receiving a response from you or even a southern directed sneeze would more than suffice. I most definitely wouldn't expect to be paid in gold, our treasury not to be compromised.


Where was I? Oh yes, the story goes that some of these puny ounces {probably the most tarnished ones knowing your sterling reputation}, have theoretically ended up being loaned to some of our nation's finest institutions, bankers from what I remember, bullion bankers to be more specific. I certainly don't get it, if one cannot lend a few measly ounces of gold to a BULLION BANK, exactly who would be more qualified to borrow bullion??? I will attempt to splain everything to these various sites {if Homeland security hasn't pulled their franchises yet, heehee} once you and I get to the bottom of this mystery. A copy of this letter is also going to this security agency, any truth to the rumor that they will retroactively pay for information of such sensitive nature? Curiosity only.


You should also be made aware that many traitorous individuals on these sites are denigrating your well crafted, and beautiful I might add, Federal Reserve Notes. Such foolishness is beyond the pale. I have yet to meet the person who is not falling all over themselves and most everyone else around, trying to amass a sizeable amount of these legal tenders. When is the last time you walked into a McDonald's or a Chick-Filet and asked for some chicken 'golds', get my drift? There can be absolutely NO doubt that your handiwork has practically repealed the laws of supply and demand with these beauties. Our monetary supremacy, due to your artwork, expands the globe. We crank em, you bank em. What could be more American than that?


By now you are likely bored beyond tears from reading of such claims of gold misplacement, and have every right to be indignant. Let me wrap it up now so you can straighten out this whole mess next week. There could be no way that you would even know who these various 'bullion banks' are as all of your work is certainly done at 'arms length', or at least 'organ' length, so I suggest you get someone to find out exactly who may be involved here and simply ask them to return the few ounces involved. No harm, no foul, depositories back 110% intact. What could be simpler than that?


Thank you for your consideration, Sir! Your place in history is most assured, America first, last and always.


A simple unconcerned citizen,


Russel McDougal

Investor’s Daily Edge


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Dr. McDougal writes about natural resource investing for Investor's Daily Edge and has been an active investor for 25 years, holding everything from stocks, bonds and mutual funds, to options, futures, currencies, limited partnerships, private placements and rare coins.
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