Scottsdale, Ariz, April 1, 2021— Monetary Metals® announces that it has issued a gold token. Unlike the company’s other products, this one is not designed to pay a yield.
In a sign of the times, the company intends this product to generate big speculative gains. It is designed to GO UP!
It is (at issue date) 2,000 fine bucks of gold. However, some guy predicted it would go up to 4,000 or maybe even 5,122 fine bucks of gold.
“It’s magical,” gushed Monetary Metals CEO Keith Weiner. “The same gold token can go up, and when that happens, it has more fine bucks of gold in it!” The company plans to revolutionize retirement, paying for college, and buying a house.
“Unlike bitcoin, this token will work even when the Internet goes out, like in a nuclear winter, zombie apocalypse, or an anvil falls on your head,” said Wile E. Coyote, CEO of Acme Token Mint who partnered with Monetary Metals on the product.
The Monetary Metals Gold Token is available wherever gold bullion products are sold. Order now, as we are only making a limited* number!
*unless we print more, to stimulate the economy
