THE IMMUTABLE LAWS OF NATURE....
Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch
and you'll have to pee.
Law of GravityAny tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the
least accessible place.
Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional
to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random NumbersIf you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal;
someone always answers.
Law of Variable Motion If you change traffic lanes or checkout queues, the
one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
Law of Close encountersThe probability of meeting someone you know increases
exponentially when you are alongside someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Damned ThingWhen you try to prove to someone that a machine or device
won't work, it will.
Law of BiomechanicsThe severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the
reach.
Law of the Spectator - At any theatrical, musical or sporting event, the
people whose seats are furthest from the aisle always arrive last. They are
the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, for beer,
or to the toilet and who leave before the end of the performance or game.
Those who occupy the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long
gangly legs or big bellies and stay seated beyond the end of the performance.
The aisle people also are very surly folk.
Law of CoffeeAs soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your partner
will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of LockersWhen only 2 people are in a locker room, they will
have adjacent lockers.
Law of Plane Surfaces
The chance that a slice of marmalade toast will land face down on a floor is
directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug
Law of Logical ArgumentAnything is possible when you don't know what you are
talking about.
Law of Physical AppearanceIf clothes fit, they're ugly.
Law of Public speakingA closed mouth gathers no feet
Law of Commercial Marketing
As soon as you find a product that you really like, it
will cease production or the store will stop selling it.
Law of Psychosomatic medicineIf you don't feel well, make an appointment to
see to the doctor and by the time you get there, you'll feel better. If you
don't make an appointment you'll stay sick.
...And MURPHY'S OTHER 15 LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those
who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
