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Self-Love Stifles Our Being and Becoming
"The logic of worldly success rests on a fallacy: the strange error that
our perfection depends on the thoughts and opinions and applause of other
men...
The selfishness of an age that has devoted itself to the mere cult of
pleasure has tainted the whole human race with an error that makes all our
acts more or less lies against God...
The devil is no fool. He can get people feeling about heaven the way they
ought to feel about hell. He can make them fear the means of grace the way
they do not fear sin.
And he does so, not by light but by obscurity, not by realities but by
shadows; not by clarity and substance, but by dreams and the creatures of
psychosis. And men are so poor in intellect that a few cold chills down their
spine will be enough to keep them from ever finding out the truth about
anything...
Only the man who has had to face despair is really convinced that he needs
mercy. Those who do not want mercy never seek it. It is better to find God on the threshold of
despair than to risk our lives in a complacency that has never felt the need
of forgiveness.
A life that is without problems may literally be more hopeless than one that
always verges on despair...
Indeed, the truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is
that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because
smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to
your fear of being hurt.
The one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers
the most: and his suffering comes to him from things so little and so trivial
that one can say that it is no longer objective at all. It is his own
existence, his own being, that is at once the subject and the source of his
pain, and his very existence and consciousness is his greatest torture...
Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a person
deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste
the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost...
It is therefore of supreme importance that we consent to live not for
ourselves but for others. When we so this we will be able first of all to
face and accept our own limitations.
As long as we secretly adore ourselves, our own deficiencies will remain to
torture us with an apparent defilement. But if we live for others, we will
gradually discover that no expects us to be "as gods". We will see
that we are human, like everyone else, that we all have weaknesses and
deficiencies, and that these limitations of ours play a most important part
in all our lives.
It is because of them that we need others and others need us. We are not all
weak in the same spots, and so we supplement and complete one another, each
one making up in himself for the lack in another...
To say that I am made in the image of God is to say that Love is the reason
for my existence, for God is love. Love is my true identity. Selflessness is
my true self. Love is my true character. Love is my name.”
Thomas Merton
A perfect love is not obtainable in this life. We are but sinners, attempting
great things.
But it is our benchmark, our touchstone. It is how we are able to determine
if what we say or do or hold dear is founded in goodness and life, or in a
destructive snare, a willfulness, the cult of the
self, and death.
For love takes us out of ourselves and completes us. And the opposite of love
is not hatred, but the selfishness of self-love, and the dark angel's first
sin, pride.
“I think that the depth of Satan's
pride is difficult for humans to understand, and therefore it is easy to fall
into this error and partake of it, thinking, all the while, that we are
instead doing something great and beautiful.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
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