Deutsche Bank to Replace 18,000 Workers with Robots

The plan is to Replace 18,000 Jobs With Robots.

Mark Matthews, head of operations for Deutsche's corporate and investment bank, told Financial News that machine learning algorithms "massively increased productivity" and "redistribute capacity."

The London-based news organization said that Deutsche is pushing to "automate large parts of its back-office" via a new strategy called "Operations 4.0," as part of its $6.6 billion savings initiative over the next three years.

Matthews told FN that the machine learning tools helped to save "680,000 hours of manual work" and that it "so far used bots to process 5 million transactions in its corporate bank and perform 3.4 million checks within its investment bank."

In what insiders called a surprising move, the bank this summer said it will keep the bulk of its equity research department despite eliminating the bulk of its stocks sales and trading division.

Why stop at 18,000? Please consider my 8 step proposal to get rid of everybody.

Just Fire Everybody

1. Who needs proprietary equity traders? Fire them all. Machines do all the trading anyway.
2. Who needs stock analysts? Let computers determine the "Strong Buys".
3. Who needs credit analysts? Computers already do the scoring.
4. Derivatives? What a mess. Unwind them all and stay away. Fire everyone involved.
5. Real Estate Appraisals? That's what Zillow's for.
6. Credit cards processing? Outsource 100% of it.
7. Statement processing? Outsource that too.
8. Loans? Let computers decide which loans to make. Then keep none of them. Instead, securitize 100% of them.